5 WAYS YOU ARE SETTING YOURSELF UP FOR DISAPPOINTMENT THIS MOTHER'S DAY

Mother’s day means a lot of different things to a lot of different people. Some may celebrate their mother’s while others may have lost their mothers or never had one. Let’s face it , for many of us it is THE ONLY day we actually lean in and focus on ourselves. Yes, we should absolutely feel the freedom to focus in on self-care.

Let me share a story with you , a few years back ago as Mother’s Day was drawing near I began hinting to my husband on some things I would have liked as a gift. When I finally realized he wasn’t getting a clue I began hinting to my then 7 yr old daughter. While is an a particularly thoughtful little girl and loves gift giving she did not quite communicate the things to her Daddy that I was sharing with her. *Obviously , she is a child . Duh me !*

Well, that Mother’s Day Came and went and I was left feeling unsatisfied. I was disappointed because it felt as though a gift had been picked up for me ‘ on the fly’. In fact , my gift didnt even arrive by mother’s day but rather in the mail the following week. I was sad and disappointed.

Have you ever felt life that? Here are 3 ways we set ourselves up for disappointment :

1-) WE ALLOW POP CULTURE TO DICTATE WHAT OUR MOTHER’S DAY SHOULD BE

Our culture tells us we should be waited on hand and foot on Mother’s Day. For some of us this is unrealistic.For some it may be , but for most it is not. We must wipe away preconceived notions to allow ourselves to experience the joy on how our loved ones make much of us on this day. This will allow ourselves to receive their unique love in their unique ways.

2-) WE FORGET ABOUT OUR OWN MOTHER’S OR MOTHER IN LAWS

When there are other Mothers in the picture it can seem like we get put on the back-burner. In forgetting about others we begin doing the whole “ ME , ME “ thing. When we take our eyes off of ourselves and place our eyes on making much of those around us that serve as mother roles in our lives we will be blessed in our unselfishness. Go out of your way to make much of your mother or any other women in your life that have had a motherly love and guidance in your life.

3-) WE DON'T TELL OUR SPOUSE WHAT WE WANT

It is OK to communicate with your spouse and children what you would like as a gift. Our partner and our children are NOT mind readers. Let’s stop dropping hints and simply say “ honey , I know this day is coming up. I would love for you to invest in something I would want and could use ….. Here is a list for you to choose from”. This is NOT as selfish move. Infact , it is unselfish. You free them up to not have to deal with the STRESS of figuring it out. In a sense you are relieving the burden off of them . Give them a list about a month in advance . Give them options to choose from on the list . This way it is still an adventure and they still have the CHOICE on which gift they actually get.

4-) WE FORGET IT’S A DIFFICULT DAY FOR SOME OF THOSE AROUND US

While we ourselves may not have experienced loss , you spouse may have already lost a mother. For those of us , like myself , who have experienced the loss of a mother we need an added measure of grace. This may be a day where they are mourning and wrestling with grief at the loss of their mother. Don’t take it personal , they adore you but they are struggling with grief.

5-) WE FEEL LIKE FAILURES IF WE TREAT OURSELVES ON MOTHER’S DAY

It is NOT ridiculous to give yourself a gift on Mother’s Day . Some of you may be single moms or some may have children that are young and unable to gift you a gift. Whatever the situation, practice self love! MAKE MUCH OF YOURSELF! You are not selfish if in fact you take some time away to yourself . Go buy yourself a gift and/ or go pamper yourself. You are constantly giving friend . Go ahead and save up as Mother’s Day approaches so that you can spoil yourself a little.

Mother’s Day is a beautiful day , let’s not set ourselves up for disappointment so that we experience hours and even days of self-pity and loathing due to expectations we have created in our own mind. Wipe away those notions and remember the people that love you are imperfect people, receive their imperfect love for the beauty it truly carries.

You are sweet and precious to me friend !

HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY!